Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times.
"Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged the first one, "we cut our emergency response time by ten percent."
The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average response time by 20 percent."
Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!"
The lawyer approached the jury box and began an eloquent plea for her client:
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I want to tell you about this man. There's so much to say that is good: he never beat his wife; he was always kind to little children; he never did a dishonest thing in his life; he has always lived by the golden rule; he is a model of everything decent, forthright, and honest. Everyone loves him and. . . "
Her client leaned over to a friend and said, "How do like that? I pay her good money to defend me, and she's telling the jury about some other guy.
